Goodbye Sweet Angel!

Angel left our home a few days ago to live with his biological brother and sister in Colorado Springs, CO. We struggled with this as we had him for almost 5 months and he felt like such a part of our family. He is such a happy baby - almost always smiling, unless he is hungry, tired or has a messy diaper. Sean loved being a big brother to him and would tell him daily that he loved him. We had hoped things would work out differently, but Angel was meant to only be with us for a short time. While this was extremely difficult (I never thought I would love a child only to "lose" them), we have received comfort that all will be OK. I sure went through a few rough days/weeks preparing for this transition and then handing him over to his new mommy. Then as hard as this has been, suddenly I was calm and OK about all of this and ready to move on. I am grateful that I had to teach piano lessons the day after he left, because for the first time in a couple of days, I had to stop crying and take care of things and that made a huge difference. Then by the next day, I was OK. I still wanted to check on Angel in the other room since I hadn't heard him in a while, but suddenly I wasn't missing Angel so much.

Sean has been wonderful through out the process. I often wondered what he was thinking or how this would affect him. We made sure to tell him many times that Angel would be leaving. Other than just one time, the morning Angel left, Sean did really well. Most of the time he would say to me - "That's ok, then another baby will come." Just last night as I was putting him to bed, he pointed to his crib and said a girl (he says grill) would sleep there - a baby would sleep there. He sometimes does say that his baby has left and that he needs his baby. But most of the time, he just says another baby is coming and that he is a big brother. What a wonderful son. He has been such a blessing to us during this time.

I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed me and Steve to be OK with this, when it has been so hard. This is nothing like we ever thought it would be and it is harder than we thought, but somehow we will be better for it. We are still trying to figure out what we are learning through this process, but if nothing else we are still here and going to try it again. We thank everyone for their love and prayers as we figure all of this out. As we say goodbye to our sweet Angel, we look forward with anticipation for our next sweet baby to come to our home.