Why am I cranky? Could it be because I am tired and not sleeping well? Could it be that I am already burned out by homeschool and what we should do next? Could it be that despite my ability to live on less, I am tired of living on less, especially when it means that I can't get something I want (even something small)? Could it be that I am tired of my child's whininess? Could it be that I am making a change and getting off of some prescription medicine in order to stop having side effects and the getting off is physically tough, even though in the long run I will be better off? Could it be all these allergies I am having and the frustration that everything is blooming in November when we should have falling leaves and cooler temperatures? Probably all of these.
The other day, during the midst of my crankiness, when I had just yelled at my son for the umpteenth time that day for being whiny, I was in my room trying to get away from it all, trying to calm down and trying to find a positive thought to make it through the rest of the day. I was just trying to breath. I am sure that I was saying a prayer in my mind asking forgiveness for being cranky and yelley (yes that is a word at our house), praying for help and then a thought came into my mind very simply and very clearly, "Live after the manner of happiness".
Hmmm. Live after the manner of happiness? So simple, yet so powerful. That made me stop and think. What does that mean? Where did I hear that? This thought was so powerful to me in that moment, that I immediately went to my white board in my room and erased everything on it and wrote down "Live after the manner of happiness". Then I got out my laptop and went to LDS.com and searched out that statement. And I found it:
It is interesting that Nephi said this, because for many many years he had very large trials and challenges. Living in the wilderness for years, breaking his bow and struggling to find food, building a boat without directions, sailing on tempestuous seas, dealing with rebellious brothers, eventually having to separate his family from the brothers who wanted to murder him. Yet, here he said that they had lived after the manner of happiness.
I wanted to delve into this more and I knew I had heard it recently in a talk, but couldn't remember where I had heard it. A quick internet reminded me it was from a recent devotional given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles at BYU-Idaho in September. You can find the devotional here.
He began by mentioning the Prophet Joseph Smith and something he was known to say (not sure if it is an exact quote) - Happiness is the object and design of our existence and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it. Elder Holland also mentioned that in the Declaration of Independence our founding fathers list the "the pursuit of happiness" as one of the "rights" of any individual. Interesting. The "pursuit" or "path" to happiness is our right, not happiness itself. I will be honest that this has been a struggle of mine for many years as I have been struggling with depression and challenges in life. If I have the right to pursue happiness, don't I have the right to be happy?
This devotional was just what I needed to hear, again and again. There were so many great things he said, but here are a couple of quotes that I love from Elder Holland's talk:
“We know one thing for sure. Happiness is not easy to find running straight for it. It is usually too elusive, too ephemeral, too subtle. If you haven’t learned it already, you will learn in the years ahead that most times happiness comes to us when we least expect it, when we are busy doing something else. Happiness is almost always a by-product of some other endeavor.”
“Your best chance for happiness is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. And your chances to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn’t even know they ... existed improves exponentially."
"Learn as quickly as you can that so much of your happiness is in your hands. It is not in events or circumstances or fortunes or misfortunes. We can choose, if not happiness per se, we can choose after the matter of it."
“God expects a willing mind in the quest for happiness and peace as well. Put your head into this. All of this takes effort. It’s a battle, but a battle for happiness is worth waging.”
"Kindness and pleasantness and faith based optimism are characteristics of happy people."
"Anger and other vices such as violence, rage, bitterness, and hate have nothing to do with living the gospel or the pursuit of happiness."
"If you want to be happy, work at it.”
I love all of these and more that he discussed in this devotional! This thought - live after the manner of happiness - gives me permission to let go of the need to "be" happy all the time. I had thought that if I was going to stop being depressed, I had to be happy all the time. That is too much pressure! I am so grateful for this devotional too, that encourages and shows the way to get on the path of happiness or how to live AFTER THE MANNER or HAPPINESS.
Attempting to find snatches of happiness in the midst of the challenges of life can still bless me and my family. It can give me that ability to start over in the middle of a particularly cranky day - to still find happiness at 3 p.m. after a rough morning. Or to find a piece of happiness first thing in the morning when my boys give me a hug after a rough night of sleep. If I strive to live after the manner of happiness, I will find happiness. Maybe not all the time, but as often as I search for it.
1 comment:
This is GREAT! I feel like I'm in the exact same boat and this is a good reminder. Thanks for taking the time to write down your thoughts and inspiration! I appreciate it very much.
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